So, I’m guessing you’re all wondering… what happens next with Marcus. I will warn you this part is going to be longer and a little more step by step you will understand later on why.
Well, after a few days of sitting in my room, in this
shitty chicken coupe they called a hostel just sitting, wondering, overthinking EVERYTHING! I eventually dragged myself out of my room and due to the stress my skin went crazy, I was super sore, I took a walk around the corner to Tescos with my last £3.75 got myself some bread and grapes. Walking back on my own (still feeling rather sorry for myself) I walked upstairs dragging my feet and staring at the floor… I pushed open the door to the communal lounge and heard a soft voice ” Hey stranger, not seen you around for a few days.. up for a game?” I look up, BOLLOCKS! it’s him… in my head I am frantically saying to myself “Oh God Ohh Ohh God what in the hell do I tell him, what if he thinks im weird… or worse what if he thinks he upset me Ohh SHIT …. (please if there is a God send a black hole my way to swallow me up!).
I was not so lucky. Eventually I managed to squeak “Oh no I’ve just not been feeling great, yeah sure, rack them up!” Phew! that was ok, right? he totally bought that… “Ok calm yourself you’re fine”. After pulling my ridiculous self together we play pool for a while then I get the grapes out Marcus darted his eyes to my grapes (haha 😉 ) and he said with confidence “bet I could catch one in my mouth across the room” I laughed.. “Ok you’re on” so for what felt like hours we were throwing and catching grapes and I found myself feeling comfortable, like %100 comfortable and having fun! this was most definitely a sudden change of events, I looked at him and smiled with such Genuity and I saw it in his eyes he felt the same he gave me the exact same smile back.
5 pm came and it was dinner time, we had dinner together and just talked, so natural like we were already friends, I had never felt so comfortable with someone like this before, even ex-boyfriends I was never this relaxed. After dinner, we exchanged numbers and went off to our separate rooms, I was in such a good mood I forgot about my skin, the pain and everything else along with it. I felt so uplifted I cleaned my room, had a shower and pampered myself a little by doing my hair and painting my nails… looking back I think I did all of that because for once I felt good about myself, I had never had this before and this is going to sound soo corny but, was this love at first sight? is that how it feels?
I had so many questions. an hour or so later I got a knock at the door, it was him, immediately my stomach was flipping I was nervous but also relaxed (that’s a strange feeling) he asked: “have you got a cigarette paper?” YES! I answered with what sounded like so much excitement (CALM DOWN Liv… he’s just a guy) I argued with myself in my head “not just a guy Liv… a kind, funny, sweet and totally smoking HOT guy!”. Anyway, I invited him in for a cigarette, we played cards and watched TV and just enjoyed each others company, I didn’t even realise for the whole time I hadn’t even thought about my skin which is strange because it’s always my number one worry when meeting anyone.
Flicking through the Freeview channels… I am pretty sure Gordon Ramsay came on and we both LOVE Ramsay… he laid back on my bed (it was a small room no sofa, no chairs just a small prison bed), I wasn’t sure what to do? he then said “don’t I get a cuddle? everyone loves a good cuddle” with the biggest smile on my face I said “sure!” MAN, he smelt good. As I lay there with the smell of his aftershave lingering in the air I was soo happy, so happy that someone seemed to just want to be around me… I was getting a little uncomfortable so I wriggled a little and… the dozy bitch (ie. me) smacked my head on the metal bar on my bed, he laughed so hard, I laughed harder and this time it wasn’t out of embarrassment. He held my head and asked through his laughter if I was ok, I giggled back yeah just a little dizzy, he put his arm underneath my head and laid me down (Still laughing at this point I might add) then that moment came, you know, the one where your lock eyes… yep he
fucking kissed ME!, ! I felt like a fucking marshmallow… a big fat floaty squishy marshmallow!
Let’s just leave it at, he didn’t leave that night 😉